No-one ever really talks about the loneliness in sport. It is one of those things that is just accepted as ‘being’. “They train a lot they must not have a lot of time for other things” is probably a common one. Yet, I hardly ever hear the actual impact of that reality. It takes its toll. You cannot deny it. Everyone, including the greats, are susceptible to it. Sir Bradley Wiggins, and his wife, spoke candidly about the impact that his (to the average person) obsessive desire to be the best did to their marriage; it didn’t last because she was left alone while Wiggins chased his olympic dreams. She was alone and he ended up alone.

Now, obviously I am not on Sir Bradley Wiggins’s level. Nor do I ever expect to be unfortunately. Yet, I feel this same sense of loneliness and single mindedness that I suspect many an athlete faces. It is long hours training, long hours balancing life commitments, it is trying to be a good friend, partner, spouse. It is hard to balance it all and be the best at everything you try to do (which I feel is a common feeling for a lot of athletes – we are competitive after all).

Yet, what can you do? Sport is a cruel mistress. It absorbs your time, your thoughts, your energy. You become an obsessive over something that has either nothing or everything to give back to you. Realistically, it is like a red flag being waved in your face. No guarantees. No respite. No time-out. No humanity. Yet, we continue to chase it at the cost of a lot of other things with one of those being people.

I do feel lonely a lot. I train alone, I compete alone, and COVID has restricted a lot of the social interaction I would have. I spend ungodly long hours in the pain cave (aka Shed), outside on the bike, or in the pool. I am sitting here yearning for someone to turn to in these moments of deafening silence. If only I had more friends?

Yet, I feel that for a lot of us when the cookie crumbles we would choose training sessions over date nights, a chance at something great over a holiday, and a hard track session over a pub session. Or at least I would. Is that wrong? Am I the bad guy here? Am I the maker of my own doing? I don’t really think there is an answer here. I am not ready to give up those dreams and ambitions – that I do know. I don’t know if there is a partner or spouse or friend that can fill that void ever, and that’s maybe the issue( or maybe it isn’t). Maybe we feel that sport will fill the void at the end of the day – whether it be a PB, representing your country, qualifying for the olympics or anything in-between.

For now I KNOW I am not ready to give it up for anyone or anything. Is that lonely? Sure. Am I excited about what may come of it? 100%. There will always be time for girlfriends, partners, friends, but the time for sport is now and I am grabbing it with everything I have.

Full Sned.