What a year it has been.

I learned a lot about myself this year. A lot of good things about myself, and a lot of bad things. Unfortunately, the majority were learned during the hardest, toughest, darkest moments of the year. But they often are, aren’t they? That is when we learn what we really are; “Struggle doesn’t build character, it reveals it.”

The Bad Moments

The first half of this year was characterised with a lot of crying. A lot of crying. After returning to the UK at the end of January / beginning of February life slowly broke apart around me. I had my final Bar exam looming (a do or die moment for a fail would mean the end of the road, and a pass the beginning of the next chapter), a relationship ending which is never an easy thing…no matter how expected it truly was, and finally the real drain; health issues.

Around March of this year I started experiencing stomach issues. Nothing new with me. I’ve always had issues with my stomach, but a week of issues turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, which ended up being 18 weeks. I lost weight, I wasn’t sleeping, I experienced incontinence, I was crying down the phone to doctors trying to get ahold of an appointment as the NHS system was collapsing around COVID-19. I was alone and unbelievably unwell. I pressed on with my life; I sat my exam, I continued training and racing, I continued trying to socialise. Every excursion out of the house was pre-empted with 3 immodium and no food for the fear of a stomach revolution; I couldn’t stomach it. I learned, that unfortunately no-one really cares about you as much as you, or your family, care about you.

Unfortunately, I had to stop caring about others and start caring more about myself again more. Not in a selfish way, albeit it was selfish, but in a self preservation way. I argued with receptionists in GP clinics. I argued with doctors in hospital wards. I argued with surgeons in appointments. I argued a lot. I had to. No-one was going to do it for me and 25 year old me was fed up of being let down by the system that was supposedly there to protect me.

As my stomach issues resolved themselves finally in July with a high dose course of prednisone, my arthritis reared its ugly head and left me with sciatica in my left leg from July until the beginning of December. Runs were characterised with shooting pains, and post run vibes were painted with tears and pain as stairs became a mission. Yet, I pushed on. I had to. I had given up too many hours of my life to sit by idly and let these issues derail me. Tear filled phone calls to parents as I complained about the unfairness of my life, only to realise 10 minutes in that I just had to find the solution, not excuse. Something which I have always done, but it became a mantra. Something to anchor me in those moments where I felt the world was against me.

The Good Moments

I passed the Bar, and I was called to the Bar of England of Wales by Gray’s Inn on the 19th July 2021. Bed bound at 17 to Bar bound at 25. My parents managed to attend, and my best friend Sam dragged himself across London, nearly passing out in the process due to overheating, to attend my ceremony and after party. It was a good day and the culmination of years of work and sacrifice. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my parents when I was 17 saying I didn’t want to go to university. I was scared. Now we are here; an undergraduate degree and two postgrad qualifications.

On top of that, I met a lot of amazing people this year. Probably too many to mention, but even through the weird health issues above I managed to race a Sprint distance (qualified for Worlds), Olympic distance (qualified for Europeans), 3 70.3 distances races and national relays (winning). I raced a half marathon as well, but that was a bad day out!

I also managed to take part in charity shoots with some amazing people (hi Beth and Jono), did some modelling work for John Lewis and some other brands, started a podcast (and failed to continue doing it) and SOMEHOW managed to hit the pro qualification standard for the half ironman. In my debut year as a triathlete. I not only had all the health issues to deal with but I managed to go pro…In my debut year. I know the boys at Socks4Watts will rib me for this, but I am unbelievably proud about that and they were some of the first people to know. My little virtual (and some non-virtual) friendship group keeping me sane, humble (somewhat), and grounded this year. Oh, and enforcing the need for sources on any random facts spewed.

Lastly, you realise who your friends are in tough moments. Who do you turn to complain, lament, share the good moments with? You find out quite quickly. Ieva has probably been more concerned about my caffeine intake and lack of sleep this year than most people, but she is always one of the first to know what’s going on. Beth has managed to somehow keep me from hating my body too much this year with all the aches and pains (thanks Beth). You learn who good people are when you have bad moments. It is easy to think people are good, friendly, loyal, when the going is good. You learn a lot more when the going is bad. I’ve learned that ultimately you do not need to tolerate people who do not ‘work’ for you. Not as in do things, but are compatible for you.

A Good Year

Overall, I met a lot of people virtually and otherwise. Had messages from all over the world about arthritis and ulcerative colitis, met some amazing people from charities associated with it, and learned more about how to deal with it all. I am not sure I really know what I am doing yet, but we will get there one day (maybe).

For now, I am excited to see what 2022 brings. Whatever it may be I am sure I will be learning a lot more, and enjoying some spectacular views and people at the same time.

Full Sned.

Max